Cancer Vaccine???

Monkey had his check up at the doctor a couple weeks ago. He's 10! So weird. I still feel like he's my little boy. Anyway, while we were there, the nurse says to me, "Has anyone talked to you about the cancer vaccine?" What?! I wouldn't consider myself medically savvy, but I like to think I would know if there was a vaccine for cancer. So I say "What?" And then she drops the hammer, "the HPV vaccine." Ummmm, Hell no. I've read terrible stories about it. I don't know much else about it, but for me, it's just way too new for you to experiment with it on my kids. As far as I know, my kids don't have any extra familial risk on cancer. We've been blessed that we haven't lost any one to that terrible disease.
Now, my other issue is that, I've always loved my pediatrician's office, but now I'm kind of put off by how the nurse tried to push that on me. I'm grateful that I had actually heard of this vaccine and know that it is risky, but I fear that there are other parents may not know anything about it. I mean, when you call it the cancer vaccine, who wouldn't want to jump on that? Plus, other doctors don't give it until they're 11. When I asked about that, she tells me that they will give it as young as 9. 9! Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't HPV come from/get passed by having multiple sexual partners? Why would a 9 year old need a vaccine for basically an STD?
Like I said though, I don't know much about it and that's why I'm choosing not to give it to my kids. What did you decide? And why?

A Reply? Finally!!

      Oh My Gosh! I finally got a reply back from our foster care specialist. Sadly they are extremely busy in the work that they do. But it was good news! I have been emailing her just to let her know not to forget about us. I don't want to be too pushy and risk her putting our paperwork at the bottom of the stack just because I'm annoying the crap out of her. This last email I said, "Hey, I just wanted to let you know we haven't changed our minds." And I got a reply back! She said she plans to have our home study written by the end of next week! Yay! I don't know how long it takes for us to be officially licensed after that, but its a step in the right direction! Woohoo!! I'm so ready! My kids are starting to wonder if it's really happening. It seemed like we had to do a lot really quickly so it was a big thing in our house for a little while, then nothing at all for the last month. But now, finally, there is light at the end of the tunnel. I'm so excited to fill our empty room with children who need us. What better way to honor the Lord, than to open our hearts and our homes to His children... Gives me goose bumps just thinking about it.
     Thank you all for tuning in to this journey with me. I can't wait till I have more to share with you!
Goodnight!

The Great Church Debate

      "I never in a million years thought I would be doing this again. Many of you know, I've been VBS and Sunday School Coordinator at my church for a few years now. And I love it. I really do. But that's as far as my love for this church goes any more. A very wise woman told me that being busy in the church is just that, busy. It doesn't make you any more faithful. I want my children to grow up in church. In this day and age, there are negative influences all over. And I want my kids to have positive influences. I'm not a great Christian but I love Jesus and I'm trying. I want my children to have a great relationship with the Lord. And that's just not happening at our church. We're not getting spiritually fed. I've found that I've lost respect for my pastor (but that's a whole other story). I never thought I would have these feelings toward a person in his position. And it's become acceptable for me to take the kids to Sunday School and not even stay for the church service. It may be socially acceptable, nut I'm not ok with it. I want more from my self. I need accountability. Our church is dying and I've struggled for quite some time. I just don't know what to do... Should I stay and try to help rebuild it? Or do I take my kids somewhere else? Am I really going to be looking for a new church for my family again? Am I strong enough to ignore the stares, to not walk in to a new church and feel like you're crashing someone's family reunion?"

     That ran through my mind constantly a few weeks ago. I could barely see through my tears to write it. I decided to resign my positions. I did so with the intent of going back to church for the right reasons, not just because I was obligated to be there. I though, "I'll get up Sunday and sit in the pew and listen, take my kids down to Sunday School and not worry about if the teacher's showed up or if they have enough materials. I'm just going to be an ordinary church goer." After I resigned from my positions, a friend from church asked if I would like to try another church with her the next Sunday. What did I have to lose? So we went together and I left the kids at home because I didn't want to drag them around "church shopping". But I loved it there. It was so lively and upbeat. And even though folks there are struggling, they're praising God. It was such a refreshing change from what I am used to. One of the things that drew me to the church I've been at for 6 years, was the traditionalism. Every thing about it was just like I remembered church being from when I was a kid. So naturally, I thought, this is how its supposed to be. Nothing about this other church is "traditional". There is a full band instead of a choir, the pastor wears blue jeans. No body is judging you by what you're wearing or how much money you're giving. They're just glad you are there! And I haven't even gotten to the children's part yet. They're main focus is on growing Godly children. They know that our children are the focus. So instead of dividing up their resources into lots of little ministries they focus on the children's ministry. And the absolute best part... My KIDS LOVE IT!

      We will definitely miss our old church family. But it's time for us to move on. Of course, I've been asked repeatedly in the last week to come back to our old church. Right now, I just can't. Monkey is 10 now. I feel like the next 5 years are going to be crucial in his spiritual growth. I only get one shot at giving him the best. I've prayed about it. If I can take him somewhere that he wants to be at, where he enjoys learning about God, and building his relationship with God, then how could I not? And Banana is not far behind him. I want my children to have a relationship with God throughout their entire lives. And I NEED for them to know Him throughout their teen years. When they feel like they have no one else on earth, and they will feel that way, its teen tradition, I want them to think "I'm ok. I don't need anyone else on earth. I've got God on my side!"

     Although choosing to leave my church has been one of the most difficult decisions I've ever had to make, I'm 97% confident that I made the right decision. For my children and my self. Hubby even came with me one day. He said he didn't hate it, which was way better than anything he ever said about our other church. Keep praying for us. Maybe we'll settle in and this will be our new church home.

Thank you,

Hurry Up and Wait.

Hurry up and wait. This is seriously the motto of my life right now. I officially submitted all of the my requirements to become a licensed foster parent today. I can not express how excited I am! Now we just wait for our Foster Care Specialist to get our home study written and we will be licensed! I know a couple of people who are or have been foster parents and they've gotten their first placements within a few weeks of getting licensed. On one hand, I can not believe that we are potentially within a few weeks of filling our spare bedroom (which we have dubbed 'The Foster Room'). On the other hand, I'm thinking, "Call Me Already!" I'm more than ready for this.
I've been having dreams of a sweet toddler boy clinging to my shoulder. I can never remember his name, just that he needs me and I love him. Maybe it's my mind trying to prepare me for this exciting journey. It kinda reminded me of the vivid dreams you have when you're pregnant.
Aaah! I'm just so excited. I hate waiting. Now that everything on my end is all done, I'm ready for a placement.
In the mean time, I'll just be decorating the room and buying toys. Lol. Since we decided to accept children 4 and under, I've collected a nice little assortment of toys to fill the room. And I even made this cute little sign to hang in their room. I was trying my hand at some ombre style painting. I have a long way to go, but it still looks cute. I painted the dots with the eraser end of a pencil and cut the words out with my Cricut. Isn't it totally adorable?

Thanks for checking out my blog. Come back soon, I can't wait to share this journey with you.

I have been working on...

     Yesterday, I promised to reveal what else I've been working on. This "project" has been a long time dream of mine. It required training for both my husband and myself, many family discussions, interviews of my family, room redecorating, and modifications to our home. Do you think you know what it is yet? If you guessed Foster Care... You're right!
It has been such an emotional ride. But, we've now completed all of our class work. We are CPR, First Aid and AED trained. Our children have been interviewed, our home has been inspected and our friends and family have submitted reference letters. We are at the bottom of 4 home studies that our Foster Care Specialist is in the process of writing but when she finishes (hopefully soon), we will be licensed foster parents. Then we will just be waiting for placements. I would love to do sibling groups, but Mr.Random is a little more leery. He would prefer to start with one and see what happens. And he's probably right. Because it is an adjustment for our entire family, we may want to start off slowly, ease our way into it. I recently spoke with another foster mom in our area and she told me that when she started foster care, about 4 years ago, several of her couple friends became foster parents too, but have since quit. I always thought it was a lifetime commitment. I certainly intend for it to be for our family. At this point we have decided to accept children who are 4 and under in to our home. As our children get older, we may accept older children. Both Monkey and Banana are excited to have a baby and/or a toddler in our home. God really has blessed me with great children. I know they will big great foster siblings to anyone who comes in to our home. I can't wait to share more of this exciting journey with you all.

I can not wait to have a little person in this room!

Come back soon. I will be sharing details about this room and the decorations I've been working on for this.
Thanks for stopping by!

Crazy Busy

Aaaah! My life is so crazy right now.
Preschool is back in session. Yay! I have 2 classes again. My morning class has 11 students, 10 boys 1 girl. Seriously! 10 three year old boys doesn't take long to wear you out. My afternoon class is much more mellow with 7 girls and 3 boys. But both classes are a lot of fun. Last year, I had only 5 kids in one class and 7 in the other class. So to say that this year is much more challenging, is an understatement. However, I firmly believe that with greater challenge comes greater reward. I'm most excited about our Winter Wonderland program. I think it will be super exciting to have so many little voices singing. Not to say that I didn't enjoy my classes last year, I very much did. I'm just really excited to spend my days with such a fun, rambunctious, eager group of kids.
I also decided to take on another job at my church. Custodian. Well, another woman and I are splitting the duties. Last time our church lost a custodian, we went nearly 4 weeks without one. So Mrs.B and I decided to split the duties. The last custodian we had was less than stellar. Many duties had gone undone for quite a while. So we've spent the last week putting in extra hours to get our church looking beautiful again. Custodian is a much unappreciated job. Many, many props to housekeepers and custodians every where. It's hard work! And it's 7 days a week. I've been going in after the kids go to bed, that way I know all of the church activities are over plus I don't have to miss out on time with my kiddos. They're so busy, I feel like I hardly see them as it is.
About them being busy, Monkey has soccer on Monday and Wednesday, Taekwondo on Tuesday and Thursday. Banana has 2 dance classes on Wednesdays and Girl Scouts every other Monday. And oh yea, did I mention that I decided, at the very last minute, to be the Girl Scout leader. Because I'm just so bored... Ha.
I also have something very very exciting going on that has taken up quite a bit of time lately. The good news is that all of the work I had to do for that is over. Now we're just waiting. I know you're dying to know what it is. But... You're going to have to wait till tomorrow.

Image credit: Google Images

Thanks so much for stopping by. Come on back to see what I've been working so hard on.

Smells Like Summer (Australian Gold Sunscreen Review)

You know there are certain smells that remind you of specific things? I don't mean that smelling pizza reminds you that you're hungry. I mean how pine trees and cinnamon smell like Christmas. Well Australian Gold Sunscreen smells like summer. It doesn't just smell like sunscreen or plain lotion. It smells like summer. Like beaches and boats and swimming and sunshine and barbecues. I've only ever used Australian Gold products to help me get a tan before, never the opposite, until now. This suncreen is gentle enough to wear on your face and tough enough to wear in the pool. It dries clear and not too oily. It's water resistant (for 80 minutes), and sweat proof too. That last part is my personal opinion. Indiana humidity is no joke and with active kids, I need a product that can hold up to my sweat and theirs. This one is it. Sunscreen is a part of our life in the summer, so why not have one that feels and smells great...
I received a sample of this product to try in exchange for my honest opinion.

#BearNakedGranola... Have You Tried It Yet?

Have you heard of Bear Naked Granola? No. Well, let me tell you, it's a delicious and healthy snack. I personally love the Sea Salt Caramel Apple Crunch. I eat it by itself, but I hear its pretty good to add to yogurt. My kids love to put mix-ins in their yogurt. It's a perfect snack to take on the go with you, anywhere. With real apples and caramel pieces this snack will trick you into forgetting how healthy it is. A 1/4 cup only has 120 calories and 3 grams of protien!


I received a free sample of Bear Naked Granola in exchange for my honest review.

Guess Who's Going To College?!

If you guessed me, you are so right! I went this evening and to the Accuplacer test to see where I "rank", to see if I need any refresher courses before I can start working toward my degree. And the verdict is...
NOPE!
I qualified for the English class that I need and the Math class I need. Whew! It's been 13 years since I graduated high school. I was super nervous and it took me over 2 hours for the test, (they say allow yourself 3 hours). But I did it!
Now I have a whole new bunch of nervousness. This is really happening!
I can't wait to start and I'm terrified too.
I'll try to keep you all updated.
Thanks for stopping by!

This Blog Sucks

This blog totally sucks. No, seriously. I'm not just saying that. I haven't posted anything since November. NOVEMBER! It's freaking March. And I honestly have no idea when I will be posting again. I would like to say tomorrow, but I think we all know that is a lie. I'm a hot mess! Is that still a phrase? Are people still saying that? Well, even if they're not, I am.
I think I told you all about my new job. Teaching preschool. I LOVE IT! I actually teach the 3-4 year old class and they are seriously the most fun age group, EVER. They think everything is awesome! One little girl in one of my classes says "That is AMAZING!" about literally everything.
Despite being absolutely thrilled with my new job, Depression decided to rear its ugly head again and try to destroy my life. But no, no. Not this time, I got my butt back in to the Dr and got some drugs. He gave me Citalopram (aka Celexa) because I had done so well on Lexapro before (except for the fatigue and what I like to call scatter-brainedness). It worked, it really helped my anxiety and depression. So I got all confident and decided to enroll myself in college. Yay! Except my ADHD was out of control. I was feeling like an absolute moron. I couldn't keep track of anything, not thoughts, dats, appointments, bills, objects. So back to the Dr. I go... He says, yep your ADHD is making you nuts, we're sending you to a shrink. Yay! Officially a nut case. Ha. Just kidding. Don't get your panties in a bunch, I'm not trying to offend anybody. Humor is my coping mechanism. So shrink says, "you can't take citalopram with ADHD." It totally exaggerates your symptoms. What?! I thought that was all in my head. Like maybe I just notice I'm crazier since I feel better. Nope. So he gives me Welbutrin XL. It's supposed to help with the depression/anxiety, the ADHD, and binge eating. YAY! I'm super excited about this...
for about 5 minutes. As soon as I got completely off the Citalopram, I was a weepy mess. The Welbutrin XL was no friend to me. I was crying everyday, eating more sugar than ever, ADHD was back to normal. The only plus was I actually slept 7 hours a night, for the first time in 10 years. I was pretty much at my lowest. Of course I had a follow up visit to see how it worked. A follow up appointment with a girl I graduated high school with. A beautiful, honor roll, academically excellent, cheerleader girl I graduated high school with. Ugh. It's been a long time, we never really knew each other then, I'll just act like I don't know her. Right?
Wrong. I'm sitting in the office last Friday, a complete and total mess. In walks cheerleader girl, looking exactly like she did 13 years ago. She probably still fits in her cheerleader outfit. And here I am with my blotchy red face from crying and extra 60 pounds I've accumulated since 2002. And she says "Hi! How are you? What's it been, 10 years? Maybe more?"
Ummm. Just shoot me now please... Not a kill shot, maybe in the foot or something, just to get me out of that office. Anyway, she switched my medication to Brintellix. We'll see how it goes. Maybe I will get back on here and update you. Don't hold your breath.
I also started another job on Monday. It's at the high school that I went to, in the special education department. So I leave my preschoolers and head to high school. But that is a story for another day.
Happy reading! Thanks for stopping by.

Let's Talk About Pits, Baby

     Let's talk about deodorant. We all use it. We all sweat. I used to not. But now, whew, those days are gone. I'm not sure if it's because I'm a heavy woman or because I'm getting older or what. But I sure sweat now. And it grosses me out. I'm always trying out new scents and brands of deodorants. But I always use the "invisible solid". Ha. Like there really is such a thing. So Naturally when I got the chance to try a new deodorant for FREE, I jumped at it.

     I've never been a fan of the ooey, gooey, messy gel. Scratch that. I hadn't actually tried it, until I got Secret Outlast Completely Clear Gel, free in the mail to try. The first thing I noticed was the refreshing scent. It's fragrant but not overpowering. That's a definite plus. So I clicked the dial a couple of times and applied it to my pits. When I first put it on, I thought ew, ew, ew. No way, this is not for me. BUT as the day went on I noticed a difference. I keep a spare deodorant in my purse because often I have to reapply midday. This day, I didn't have to. Whoa! Huge plus! The next day I dreaded the cold, wet slime going under my pits, but I agreed to try this product and I wasn't stopping after one day. So I gritted my teeth and gasped when the slick, cold gel collided with my skin. Moments later the assault was forgotten and I was feeling fresh as a daisy. And I didn't have to reapply at all that day. In fact I haven't had to reapply midday in the nearly 3 weeks I've been using it. Now I hardly even notice the cold sting of applying it. Maybe because I know it's totally worth it. We haven't even gotten to plus number 3 yet. You won't believe this... NO WHITE MARKS! Yep, that's right. It really is COMPLETELY CLEAR. Go ahead pull out that little black dress, I promise, you will not have to worry about deodorant marks.
     Although Secret claims 48 hour protection, I haven't been quite able to make myself go that long with out showering/applying deodorant. But I can vouch that it works better than my old brand. I will be switching brands. Secret Outlast Completely clear gel is the one for me.
*I received this product for free in exchange for my honest review.

Busy, Busy!

Well it's been almost a month since I turned 30. And I have been uber busy ever since. Banana is about to turn 6, so I'm planning her party. She wants a puppy party, and that's what she's going to get. I can't wait to share the details with you all. Not only do I have that but LuLu decided to get married too. Soon! So I have a bridal shower and bachelorette party to plan too. And I've never even been to either one. Oh and did I mention that all this is going down 2 states away? In a city that I have now visited 3 times in my life. Spent a total of 5 nights in 3 separate visits. AAAHHHH! But I'm so excited for her and my new "brother". So it's totally worth all the stress and anxiety. I'm looking forward to pulling out my hair and sharing every single step with you all. Won't I make a beautiful maid of honor when I'm bald? LOL!
Thanks for stopping by and come back soon.

Mommy Fail 345712

I'm sure I'm not the only non-perfect mother out there. We've all said things in front of our kids that we wish we could take back. Sadly, I probably have a list 10 miles long. But I'm working on it.
Anyway in an effort to conceal my true dirty words, I called someone "juice bag" instead of douche bag and that just sort of became his nickname. But tonight while talking about said person I referred to him as JuiceBag. Monkey did not skip a beat and corrected me by saying "Mom, it's douche, not juice" Bahahaha! I started choking and heaven forgive me, I could not stop laughing. So I just stood there with my back turned to him, shaking in silent laughter, trying to compose my self long enough to tell him that he can't say that. All the while this kid can not let it go, so he just keeps trying to correct me and Hubby is doubled over in the fridge, pretending to look for food, but actually laughing hysterically. Thanks a lot Hubs for coming to my rescue. Not. He literally told Monkey to never, EVER repeat anything his mother says. Lol.
Oh well, all's well, that ends well.
Lesson learned.

My Next 30 Years

My Next 30 Years... I remember when that song came out. Oh how far away 30 was back then when I was only half way there. Now with only a week to go, I have a theme song I just have to figure out what to do in my next 30 years. So here it is, copied straight off of YouTube.



Super appropriate, I hope you enjoyed it.

When You Finally Realize Your Baby Sister Can Kick Your Butt...

Hey there! You all may remember a while back I had a Wordless Wednesday post of my favorite military person. Well, in honor of Veteran's Day I thought I would bring her back and share some more with you all about her. She's my younger sister, by 17 months. (The way our birthdays fell, we were 2 years apart in school.) But I've always felt super protective over my siblings. She'll always be a bratty baby to me.
About her:
She's in graduate school at one of the top schools in the country for her field. She spent 4 years in active duty in the United States Air Force and has since been in the reserves. She currently holds the title of  Technical Sergeant. Although she would kill me if she found out that I told you this; she just got picked number 1 for an officer training scholarship program. EEEEEEP! My baby sister is going to be a Lieutenant!!!

This is her accepting the offer on Veteran's Day. Isn't she beautiful?!

Yep, she's on her way back to active duty. While we don't live in the same state now, I still get to see her almost monthly since her reserve base is in my state. Once she's stationed, I'm going to see much less of her and I'm going to miss her terribly, but I can't help being so excited and so  proud of her. Since I've never written about her, I never gave her a name. So I guess we're going to call her Lulu (for lieutenant). Pretty cute, right?

On a more serious note, if you see a vet today or any day, Thank them. And ALWAYS, ALWAYS PRAY for them. 

Introducing Ms.R, the Fry Cook!

It's been a while since my last actual post. Its not that I don't have anything to say. I just havent sat down and wrote it out.
First off, I got a job. It's nothing glamorous. I'll be working the back line at Hardees. Yep, as a fry cook. Just call me Spongebob. They're giving me hours that are only while the kids are at school. How perfect is that? I'm still subbing at the local preschool too. Other than the subbing, I haven't worked in 8.5 years! I quit my job when I found out I was pregnant with Monkey. And I have loved every single minute of being a stay at home mom. But now they are both in school all day and there's just no reason for me to be sitting at home. I'm sure many of you know that it is a sacrifce to have only one income, so any amount of extra money is going to help out. Even if I spend it all on shoes. ;-)
Speaking of shoes, check out thesse bad boys:

These are my new slip resistant shoes. Sexy, huh?

 

Well now you know what I've been doing instead of blogging, but I'm hoping that once I get better adjusted that I will be able to spend more time with all of you. Thanks for dropping by and come back soon.



Raising My Mother

Grrrrrrrrr! I need a place to vent! I am so over drama with my mom. First she left my step dad and moved in to my house. She won't get a job, she's been getting money from my step dad and using it to go out all the time. Now she's dating a 30 year old scrub who lives with his mom. And mind you I'm only 29. Eeeeewwwww! They just went to Las Vegas for a pool tournament. They borrowed my van to get there, and what the heck does she do? Gets my van impounded! Seriously! I couldn't make this up if I wanted to. We had to get an email copy of a release form from the towing company, print it, fill it out, get it notorized and fax it back in order for them to release the vehicle to her. I swear if I wasn't 2000 miles away I would have gone and picked it up and left her stranded. She's so irresponsible. And every word that comes out of her mouth is a LIE.

I just don't get it. She had me when she was 19, my sister at 20 and my brother at 21. We all had shit for dads, never a dime of child support or welfare. My sister and I only met our dad once. Yet, she pulled up her big girl panties and handled her business. She gave us all a wonderful childhood and raised us well. None of us are in jail or on drugs and we all have good work ethic and all go to church. It makes absolutely no sense! The worst part is my sister and I have only ever had one parent, her! And now since I'm raising her, who is our mother? She's physically here so there's nothing to grieve; but she's gone for us. My mother has always been my number 1 role model, but now Im losing respect for her. Thats the hardest part. What do you do when you lose respect for your mother? I don't know how to get passed this. 

Honor your mother and father. It's one of the commandments. I just don't know how right now... I've talked to her, yelled at her, guilt tripped her (tried to anyway, not one of my finer moments), but nothing works. Im not usually one to care how another person chooses to live their life, but with my mom I just can't accept it. I still love her, obviously, she's my mom. I just need help accepting this new path she's chosen. But I also feel that I have to draw the line somewhere. Grrrr. 

Well, thanks for letting me vent and if you have any advice for me, feel free to leave it in the comments. 

~Ms.Random