Wednesday, March 11, 2015

This Blog Sucks

This blog totally sucks. No, seriously. I'm not just saying that. I haven't posted anything since November. NOVEMBER! It's freaking March. And I honestly have no idea when I will be posting again. I would like to say tomorrow, but I think we all know that is a lie. I'm a hot mess! Is that still a phrase? Are people still saying that? Well, even if they're not, I am.
I think I told you all about my new job. Teaching preschool. I LOVE IT! I actually teach the 3-4 year old class and they are seriously the most fun age group, EVER. They think everything is awesome! One little girl in one of my classes says "That is AMAZING!" about literally everything.
Despite being absolutely thrilled with my new job, Depression decided to rear its ugly head again and try to destroy my life. But no, no. Not this time, I got my butt back in to the Dr and got some drugs. He gave me Citalopram (aka Celexa) because I had done so well on Lexapro before (except for the fatigue and what I like to call scatter-brainedness). It worked, it really helped my anxiety and depression. So I got all confident and decided to enroll myself in college. Yay! Except my ADHD was out of control. I was feeling like an absolute moron. I couldn't keep track of anything, not thoughts, dats, appointments, bills, objects. So back to the Dr. I go... He says, yep your ADHD is making you nuts, we're sending you to a shrink. Yay! Officially a nut case. Ha. Just kidding. Don't get your panties in a bunch, I'm not trying to offend anybody. Humor is my coping mechanism. So shrink says, "you can't take citalopram with ADHD." It totally exaggerates your symptoms. What?! I thought that was all in my head. Like maybe I just notice I'm crazier since I feel better. Nope. So he gives me Welbutrin XL. It's supposed to help with the depression/anxiety, the ADHD, and binge eating. YAY! I'm super excited about this...
for about 5 minutes. As soon as I got completely off the Citalopram, I was a weepy mess. The Welbutrin XL was no friend to me. I was crying everyday, eating more sugar than ever, ADHD was back to normal. The only plus was I actually slept 7 hours a night, for the first time in 10 years. I was pretty much at my lowest. Of course I had a follow up visit to see how it worked. A follow up appointment with a girl I graduated high school with. A beautiful, honor roll, academically excellent, cheerleader girl I graduated high school with. Ugh. It's been a long time, we never really knew each other then, I'll just act like I don't know her. Right?
Wrong. I'm sitting in the office last Friday, a complete and total mess. In walks cheerleader girl, looking exactly like she did 13 years ago. She probably still fits in her cheerleader outfit. And here I am with my blotchy red face from crying and extra 60 pounds I've accumulated since 2002. And she says "Hi! How are you? What's it been, 10 years? Maybe more?"
Ummm. Just shoot me now please... Not a kill shot, maybe in the foot or something, just to get me out of that office. Anyway, she switched my medication to Brintellix. We'll see how it goes. Maybe I will get back on here and update you. Don't hold your breath.
I also started another job on Monday. It's at the high school that I went to, in the special education department. So I leave my preschoolers and head to high school. But that is a story for another day.
Happy reading! Thanks for stopping by.

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