Tuesday, August 27, 2013

Raising My Mother

Grrrrrrrrr! I need a place to vent! I am so over drama with my mom. First she left my step dad and moved in to my house. She won't get a job, she's been getting money from my step dad and using it to go out all the time. Now she's dating a 30 year old scrub who lives with his mom. And mind you I'm only 29. Eeeeewwwww! They just went to Las Vegas for a pool tournament. They borrowed my van to get there, and what the heck does she do? Gets my van impounded! Seriously! I couldn't make this up if I wanted to. We had to get an email copy of a release form from the towing company, print it, fill it out, get it notorized and fax it back in order for them to release the vehicle to her. I swear if I wasn't 2000 miles away I would have gone and picked it up and left her stranded. She's so irresponsible. And every word that comes out of her mouth is a LIE.
I just don't get it. She had me when she was 19, my sister at 20 and my brother at 21. We all had shit for dads, never a dime of child support or welfare. My sister and I only met our dad once. Yet, she pulled up her big girl panties and handled her business. She gave us all a wonderful childhood and raised us well. None of us are in jail or on drugs and we all have good work ethic and all go to church. It makes absolutely no sense! The worst part is my sister and I have only ever had one parent, her! And now since I'm raising her, who is our mother? She's physically here so there's nothing to grieve; but she's gone for us. My mother has always been my number 1 role model, but now Im losing respect for her. Thats the hardest part. What do you do when you lose respect for your mother? I don't know how to get passed this. 
Honor your mother and father. It's one of the commandments. I just don't know how right now... I've talked to her, yelled at her, guilt tripped her (tried to anyway, not one of my finer moments), but nothing works. Im not usually one to care how another person chooses to live their life, but with my mom I just can't accept it. I still love her, obviously, she's my mom. I just need help accepting this new path she's chosen. But I also feel that I have to draw the line somewhere. Grrrr. 
Well, thanks for letting me vent and if you have any advice for me, feel free to leave it in the comments. 

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