Saturday, March 2, 2013

My Monkey and ADD

     I need to get serious for a little bit here. My handsome little Monkey has just been diagnosed with ADD (attention deficit disorder). And while I've always kind of known that he had this disorder, I'm still a little freaked out that he really does. I had asked all of his teachers up until now what they thought and none thought that he did. But that was preschool and kindergarten so he never really had to have much of an attention span until this year. And this year, with new expectations an homework, this disorder has really shown through. His schoolwork is really suffering. And so is his confidence. So I sucked it up and told the doctor that while every body else disagreed with me, I still thought that he had ADD. I think that everyone else was a little confused because he doesn't bounce off the walls like most ADHD kids. But low and behold when Hubby and I and Monkey's teacher did our surveys, they all basically looked the same. So now we know... What's next?

This is my Monkey ;-)
Its actually a picture from 

     Well for us, it's medication. Our doctor prescribed Vyvanse. He said it's in the same category as Adderall. I'm really nervous about it but I'm also very excited to see how my baby will grow once he gets a chance to blossom. Our doctor also said that Monkey has Autistic tendencies. So when we treat the ADD the Autism will be come more prevalent or not and we will be able to find out if he does have Autism or not. We always knew he was special. Now we know he's just Super Special. Either way we are super blessed, because clearly he's highly functioning.

     Now for the pity party part. I like to be very open and honest so I'd be lying if I said that I'm ok with all of this. I know that it could be much worse. And while I am beyond grateful that it isn't, I can't help but wish that it just wasn't at all. I know it's so selfish but dammit, why? Why my baby? Why couldn't it be me? Or better yet, somebody that I don't know? That way I could just live in my bubble and feel sorry for other people. My boy is so timid and loving a sweet, so why him? I just worry what growing up is going to be like? I just want to him to have a life that he loves. To not have to struggle in school. To grow up and get married and maybe have babies. Work a regular job or go to college. Whatever he wants. Just not be trapped in some mental disorder where he's just almost able to do everything normally. I want him to go on dates and have at least one good lifelong friend. There are so many things I want for both of my babies and mental illness does not make the cut. Like I said, I know that I'm being selfish. I have a friend whose Autistic son is 13, completely nonverbal, very aggressive and combative, and I'm sure she would give anything for him to be half as functioning as my son. And I am so beyond grateful that if my son has to have any mental illness that this is as bad as it is but I just don't want him to have to have any at all. So yes, I'm a selfish bitch, but it is what it is. OK. Pity party over.

     I seriously crave advice and information, so anything that anyone would be willing to share with me about ADD or Vyvance, would be greatly appreciated. Thanks for stopping by and please come back soon.

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